Oh how the mighty have fallen.....

Those of you who are now stay-at-home parents that USED to be in the "working world" (I giggled a little bit too, when I typed that) will totally get what I'm about to lay on you....

As much as I adore my children and love how we home school and the opportunities that allows me to have - like being right there when each kid connected the dots and READ for the first time - way cool....some days I just wish I could wriggle on that torture device known as pantyhose and rejoin the magical land that is the "workplace."  You remember it - the place where you got to finish sentences...the one where the phone ringing was not the Bat Signal calling all whiny 3 year-olds to your immediate vicinity...the one where you got to pee all by yourself.  I miss working some days.  A lot.

I had one of THOSE days today.  I used to have a "real" job...where I went to an office, actually got to talk to grownups, and even managed to drink my coffee without reheating it in the microwave 17 times before I finished the cup...or just forgot it was in there.  For the last 10 years of my working career, I handled the contracts for a web-design firm....drafting them (without the use of crayons or construction paper), negotiating them (did you know that it is easier to negotiate a $4 million web strategy contract with a large home building supply company than it is to get a reluctant 4yo boy to poop in the potty?  For real.), and managing the delicate balance between what sales promised and what delivery could actually make happen.  Not unlike the balancing act that occurs when your 6yo daughter tells you that Santa in bringing her a real princess crown and a real throne.......um, yeah...about that...

So today...in addition to talking with contractors (we're having MAJOR work done on our house - more on that later, I'm sure), we had lessons for 3 kids, errands, piano lessons, cleaning the house, dinner, etc.  Basically, more accomplished by Noon than most corporate employees get done all week.  By the end of the day...by bedtime...I'm tired.  Knowing that we have to get up a tad early to make it to older son's allergist appointment, I try to get  all 3 kids to bed at the same time.  This is not unlike trying to herd kittens.

Like every night, I issue the same command:  "Go upstairs - to your OWN room.  Go potty, wash your hands and get ready to brush your teeth."  Silly me....I actually think that may work one day.  I go up to the office (just down the hall from their 3 bedrooms) and look for a document I need for tomorrow.  The next thing I know, I hear a crash.   Looking down the hallway, I see that older son has flipped middle daughter over his head, bent her pinky finger back, and younger son is running in circles in the hallway, flapping his hands like a deranged chicken and yelling "Pootie-Bottom!" at the top of his lungs.

Boarding school is sounding better by the minute....in China, perhaps.  I'm going to take a in-house position at a fancy corporation....in Maui.